Fuck Bob Geldof

What to do if you're a singer and no one likes your music? You obviously crave attention - you're a singer for god's sake! - but wait, there's another way to make people listen to your inane Irish accent. Become a social spokesperson for all the poor disenfranchised of the world. You're obviously qualified - you're a pop singer!

I have a problem with not only Geldof, but celebrity activism in any form.

There are simply too many millionaires running around, crowing on about Darfur and, worst of all, not only failing to change the status quo, but actually worsening the problem. There are some exceptions of course. Bill Gates an Warren Buffet (celebrities?) are doing a good job of unloading millions of dollars to aid organisations and should be commended. Sean Penn went out in that boat in Katrina and saved a couple people. Nice job, you guys I'm ok with. It's Geldof and Bono and Angelina Jolie and Madonna that I can't stand.

There are a few issues I have with these people. One, they are not qualified to be making public statements about anything, really. Statements on global politics or tricky economic issues like debt relief are best left to people who know what they're talking about - politicians, academics, economists etc. Not Bob fucking Geldof.

This issue is often refuted by comments like "Everyone deserves a say, and celebrities encourage others to get involved, blah blah blah". Yes, everyone does get a say. I believe this practice should be ended as soon as possible. More seriously though, not everyone gets a say because not everyone is famous and rich. But those people who don't have a microphone used to have mass demonstrations and public outcry as forms of protest. What these celebrity idiots are doing, however, is eliminating grassroots activism because people now see them as their mouthpiece. And when people see celebrities doing their work for them, they become complacent. Why march when you have Bono meeting Gordon Brown or Ban Ki Moon? Effectively mass activism is being replaced by singular points of interaction, the celebrities. As I've said before, these celebrities are not the people to be raising the big issues because they are not the smartest people available. And if you're going to have someone represent you, public, choose the smartest people you can think of. Not Bob Geldof.

Geldof came out today to decry France and Italy for not fulfilling the promises made to poor countries at the 2005 Gleneagles G8 summit. Let's put aside the issue of why France and Italy, and the rest of the G8 should care and assume that they have to. Assuming that the nations of the G8/7/20 are obliged to help Africa (as the celebrity mob do), what are they expected to do? They are expected to write off debt and provide more money. Because the G8 countries have all the money in the world. OK, so they have all the money in the world - let's make them give some to Africa. And let's assume that African leaders use this money to better the lives of people and grow the economy. That last step is where the chain of reasoning breaks down (in reality it broke down on the "why should the G8 care?" question) because African governments are notoriously corrupt and short-sighted. But acknowledging this fact, and it is one, comes with consequences.

One such consequence is: But why give them aid, why not overthrow them and install democracies? Aha, but the celebrities said no to the invasion of Iraq, they can't now support it.

Two: It's kinda racist to blame Africa for Africa's problems.

Three: White people feel guilty about slavery and colonialism and raping the earth (as they should), so suggesting the problem lies with Africa itself makes them feel bad.

Unfortunately Geldof and Bono and the lot don't really understand things as well as Rolling Stone thinks they do, and they can't answer any of these questions. They may argue that all aid should go to NGOs who do good work here and not governments, but this just deepens the dependency-hole we find ourselves in and might be worse than the corruption.

Finally, I find it hard to listen to people like Bono and Geldof because, let's face it, they're ineffectual hypocrites. When Bono met with the Pope a few years ago, he did nothing to change the actions of Africa's worst enemy. With a reported 150 million Catholics in Africa, the Pope has a pretty large influence on the behaviour of close to a quarter of the continent's population. Why, then, is the man (former Hitler-youth member, let's not forget) constantly reaffirming the Church's anti-condom stance? With the highest rates of HIV/Aids infections in the world, Africa needs it's religious leaders to be helping save lives,and not condemning worshippers to a long painful death. And yet Bono met with the Pope. The Pope who tells his followers that condoms are essentially a ticket to hell. And Bono does nothing to change this message, but instead kisses his hands, like the guy is Don Corleone.

So, to conclude, celebrities are stupid, they're killing grassroots activism and they're hypocritical. So there.